31 days of bipolar|day 15

What would you ask your future self if you could?

Dear older (and hopefully wiser) me,

Does this get easier?

Living with a brain that’s actively trying to kill me is challenging.

There’s so many things I’ve had to put on hold because my brain has not allowed them to happen. So many hopes and dreams and plans that were derailed while they were just starting to materialize. Will I be able to manage my mental illnesses enough to become the music therapist I’ve wanted to become throughout my adult life? I know I’ll definitely continue being the musician that I’ve been becoming from childhood, but I hope I’m a successful music therapist — using the only thing I know to help others on their paths.

I just hope that I’m mentally stable enough to purse educational and professional interests. Perhaps I’ll settle down with the woman of my dreams and build a life with her. Someone who’s educated, artistically/musically-inclined, social justice-oriented that I could laugh and grow with, but gentle and patient enough to understand the joys — and struggles — of living with severe mental illness.

I guess the biggest question is… will I be happy?

Sincerely,

-You at 31

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