…to just let go and start again.
I believe that this is open to the public, but I’ll double-check. I know I can bring people with me without them being subpoenaed. I cannot wait for the Judge to sign his fate away.
I am almost looking forward to presenting my impact statement. I’m ready to finally put this darkness behind me and get some closure and strength.
Apparently, I’m not allowed to write a song about how much I despise that lunatic and I have to speak for 10-15 minutes instead. I really wanted to!
Lady Justice wins.
I was asked by my therapist what keeps me going today. This is what keeps me going:
This isn’t just my personal fight or victory. I have nothing to do with it. I’m Greek; we invented justice and fighting for what’s right. It’s not about me in the slightest, but it’s in my blood and the blood of my ancestors.
This is for all the survivors and ass-kicking fighters who’ve given up on fighting against their abusers because the process is long and painful and exhausting.
This is for all the men and women and human beings who are still trying to stay alive through the abuse.
This is for all the average of 3 individuals who will die today at the hands of their abuser.
This is for the 1200 people who will experience some sort of domestic violence this hour.
This is for the POC, especially transgender women of color, who will be abused or killed at a higher rate than any other identity factor.
This is for the immigrant who will lose their life at a higher rate than their counterparts born on American soil.
This is for the 1 in 7 men and the 2 in 5 queer men who will experience domestic violence in their lifetime.
This is for the woman or non-binary individual who will be beaten in the next 9 seconds.
This is for the 1 in 2 lesbian and bisexual women who will experience domestic violence in their lifetime.
This is for the 30-50% of transgender people who will be raped, assaulted, beaten, and potentially murdered in their lifetime.
This is for all the people who are still living through domestic violence, and the children who must witness or experience the abuse.
And this is for all of us in our modern society who are fighting hard to eliminate this violence from our lives and our “civilized” society. This is to show these horrible people that they WILL be held accountable for their despicable actions. That they cannot run and hide forever. That Lady Justice will put her sword down on them for all that is right in the world.
I’m exhausted and in constant physical and emotional pain and fear being homeless every. single. effing. minute. I’m ready to give up *at least* 42 times a day. But thinking about the countless people who won’t make it as far as I have, and all the people that scumbag will likely hurt or kill (it’s definitely not a matter of “if”, but of “when”), is what keeps me going. It’s hardly some sort of personal crusade — it’s truly not about me.
It’s about all the people who weren’t lucky enough to have training and experience in staying safe from aggressive behavior and being able to use that training effectively to not die — and this is something I don’t take lightly. I am only alive because of the kind of work I’ve been doing. I wake up every day thankful to be alive because, statistically, I shouldn’t be. I am trans, a survivor of childhood abuse, have lived overseas and from an immigrant family, and live with debilitating mental illness. All of those categories make me more likely to be the target of violence.
This is also a victory for all of the people who will and have given up on fighting long before their abusers see a day in court.
And for that, I’m thankful.