31 days of bipolar|day 5: dreams are bad…

…when all they do is leave the truth behind.

An old favorite song came up on my iTunes today.

I’m behind on prompts, but that’s ok… I’ll try to be better. Sleep’s been a challenge again. I did get two new piercings, though. This brings me to 9. Most notably, I guess, is my septum. I’m not 100% sold on keeping it just yet, since it feels kind of odd to have a sharp object literally through the tip of my nose, but the response has been great today. I was told that, not only does it make me look younger, but that it really does a lot for my passing privilege… and for that, it’ll likely stay. The other piercing is #3 that’s pretty much hidden. I wanted a pair for piercing 6 because I was getting annoyed with the one-sidedness of it. I enjoy having new piercings because it helps me reclaim my body in such a visible way.

 

Today’s prompt is kind of simple and sweet.

 What treatment, therapy etc do you do?

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31 days of bipolar|day 3: you thought that you had known me…

…but I wish that you had only known just what was wrong with me long before you did.

Today, I turn to Steven Page, and an album I’ve been avoiding listening to for nearly a year.

Surprise Surprise is a song off of his newest album, Heal Thyself Pt. 1: Instinct, the first half of a double album, with the second to be released at some point between this year and eventually.. I’ve been hesitant to listen to it since last March because a friend had told me that it would likely hit way too close to home. This song came up on my iPhone on my way home this evening, so I sucked it up and started to listen to the album. Big mistake.

I didn’t make it too far in before turning into a pile of emotional on the train.

Steven Page has been one of my biggest influences musically for most of my life. He has this way as a lyricist and musician where he could take the most depressing text and turn it into the happiest tune on the freaking planet, without losing the feeling of the lyrics. His open struggles with bipolar disorder and addiction have gotten me through a lot of bullshit over the years…

So my friend was right — what I’ve listened to so far has hit too hard and too heavy for a Saturday night. This album is a musician trying to find his voice again, regardless of mental illness and addiction. In his honesty, there is hope.

 

Tonight’s prompt is about coming to terms with life. I feel like this song is very fitting to this prompt.

 

How old were you at the onset? How old were you at diagnosis? How were you given the diagnosis and are you satisfied with the way it was handled?

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